What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, because he is an orphan.

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why did jim die? he had cancer why did jim have no hair? it started to fall out when he was 20 and now he is bald at 30 years old

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

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Why did Billy fall off the slide? Someone threw a refridgerator at his face.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

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A spatial closet situates trolls beside the whistle.

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What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

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Q: Why was the little girl not allowed to watch the pirate film? A: Due to the violent scenes and coarse language, her parents decided it was inappropriate.

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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Q:what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? other person: What? A:how am i suppose to know I'm not a lawyer.

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My mom farted, now it smells, ewe. My mom just took of her shirt, BONER! My, friends mom took off her shirt, now he has a boner. We both have boners, and it smells bad. This is weird, me and my friend are very similar, except my mom farted and his mom did not. Now I hate my mom. UN-BONER!

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How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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roses are black violets are black i am blind

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Q: My hands are queefing vaginas A: Milk isn't wearing underwears

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if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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