Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A guy punched himself. He then said ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A baby seal walks into a club. :|

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why was the boy crying over his dog, his cat, and his bird? Cuz i raped them Wat about his pet hamster? I threw it at a wall

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Who's there? My fist

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's black and hanging from the tree in my backyard? My black, tree-hugging friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats green? The color green.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A blonde walks into a bar ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What Mistake Do Ghosts make? None ghosts dont exist..

thumb_up thumb_down +2

- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops