ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

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Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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what did the man say to the other man when he saw a dinosaur look.

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, it hurts when i poke my leg like this!" The doctor says,"Mm yes, it seems you have taken an arrow to the knee. You'll never walk again."

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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So three men walk into a bar and buy a round of drinks for everyone. As they do this, three kenyans die of dehydration while their families weep at their feet.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met you

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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Justin with a hat.

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Why were the Dinosaurs wiped out? Porridge.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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Mooses

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What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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Knock knock Whos there? Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Who's there?! "is anyone home this is Helan Keller"

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what draws the line between sex and rape? a pen

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen property that you should return immediately because the consequences of shop-lifting can prevent you from getting a good job and might land you in prison.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nick Oh hi Nick come in

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas? The sweet, merciful release of death at the hands of his father, who had been struggling with the emotional and financial drain of raising a severely disabled child for many years. It was only a matter of time before the man snapped, as he was a single parent working twenty hour days, seven days a week, to just barely cover all the medical bills that the specialists and therapy incurred.

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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