Q- what's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A- you take of your shoes to jump on a trampoline

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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Wanna know a Chuck Norris fact? He is 72 years old and likely to die soon

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Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's the number 1 tip to burning stomach fat? Lighting yourself on fire.

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Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

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What do you call a black man approaching your car in uniform whose name happens to be Darius? Officer Darius.

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Do you know why I am excited? I don't know I'm asking you.

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knock knock , who is there the postman the postman who ? the postman who is gonna give you a bill !

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What did the duck with one leg say to the pirate? Woof.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He simply lost grip of the cone and it fell out of his hand

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What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

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Chlamydia

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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what's worse than than finding a worm up your ass? Death

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Abortion.

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Why was 6 scared of me? cause i ate 9

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Justin Bieber.

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Knock, knock Whos there? docter doctor who? yes how did you know?

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old spice body spay is so powerfull it can block BO for 16 hours. its so powerfull it can turn of the sun, but then it gets to cold, so it makes another sun........DOUBLE SUN POWWWWWEEEERRRRRRR!!!

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What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One you can smash with a hammer and the other is just a watermelon.

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what this: b a dead one of these: p

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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