deez nuts

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Knock knock Who's there? Banana? Knock knock Who's there? Banana Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad you don't have cancer?

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What's difficult and tedious to do? Trying to find a joke with 0 thumbs up/down -Sykes

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What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

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Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

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Stop me if you heard this one before.

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roes are red violets are blue we have nothing in common so baby were through

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whats worse than finding a holocaust in you apple...........

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Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

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Q- what did the magician say after the sawed the woman in half ? A- call an ambulance !

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What's worse then 1 bee sting? -2 Bee stings. What's worse then 2 bee stings? -The Holocaust. What's worse then the Holocaust? -3 Bee stings.

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What's the humor in an elevator? Me jumping up and down yelling we r all gonna die.

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why was smokey bear sad? he got cancer from smokeing

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

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What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled I've cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

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why was the child crying? because his friend just got hit by a van.

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Me - Ask me if I am a Frog. You - Are you a Frog? Me - No.

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Q: Why shouldn't you throw rocks at a black guy on a bike? A: Because he could sustain serious injury if a rock hits him in the head, not to mention it is extremely rude.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a Fridge.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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