- Anti Joke

How do you kill a blonde? Choke her.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

all the kids had fun

http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

there once was a man named china who got stuck in yo mamas vagina he escaped through her butthole minus her butt mole and then died a horrible and painful death

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

what did pedobear say to the 60 year old man nothing he was too busy molesting the girl across the street

What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

where did suzie go when the bomb hit her?? Everywhere

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? "Hey, do you want to get something to eat?"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a man holding a shotgun was chasing him

Q: My hands are queefing vaginas A: Milk isn't wearing underwears

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

what is the worst thing to find out about for wife she is your arm

What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

1: Knock Knock. 2: Who's there? 1: To. 2: To Who? 1: To whom.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

Why did the man soil himself at his daughters wedding? Because he has an enlarged prostate and has trouble sitting down for long periods of time.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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