How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

Why Didn't jeff go to school yesterday? He was dead.

Man: I just bought this hearing aid Friend: How much did it cost Man: No it's 8 o'clock

Why did the chiken cross the road? To bite a rubarb stick.

Why can't Amy winehouse drive? She's dead.

What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

Why Did Suzie fall of the swing? She has Polio and will die the Next Day

Two straight men walk into a gay bar. They quickly realize their mistake and cross the street to the tavern where they enjoy a beer and some pretzels.

What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

Why was the chicken angry? Because he was tired of everyone questioning his motives.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

Vote this down and get DOXED

What happened to the man who jumped off a building? He got hit by a bus on the way down.

Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

What did the cancer patient say to the other cancer patient? Nothing, he was dead.

Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

what do you call a woman who has sex for money? smart.

The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

What do you call a dead black man? A corpse.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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