Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

Why some people don't get the flu twice? Because they died!

What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

Knock knock. With the invention of doorbells, knocking has become almost obsolete.

Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

Why are there so many jokes about germans on Anti-Joke? Because the Germans epitomize the flavour of anti-jokes perfectly and they have the whole nazi history thing going on which is ripe ground for many an anti-joke

how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

Why isnt there any mexicans on star trek? Because even in the future they dont work.

What's brown and sticky? The stuff that comes out of your anus

Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

What's worse than having to watch your dad rape your mom? Having to watch your mom rape your dad.

Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

Q. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A. Actually woodchucks can't chuck wood only beavers can

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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