What do you call a person falling off a cliff Dead

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Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

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Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

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A black man is playing guitar for a white man and a chinese man. After he is finished playing the white man and chinese man compliment him on his nice playing.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding cancer on your back

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What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

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Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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Why did the white man win the race Because there were no black people attending

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A father of 4 commits suicide. his kids celebrate shortly after.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Wrong house. I apologize.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

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Wana hear something dirty? Mud

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? Answer: A Pilot

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What happened when a gay man asked a straight man what time it was? He told him the correct time, they parted ways and went about with their lives.

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A guy walks into a bar. He order three drinks and hands them to the lady behind him. It's because she is an alcoholic.

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Magic Johnson has AIDS

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What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We know about the cocaine.

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What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

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If life throws you lemons Catch them

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what are you eating under there? oh a sandwich, its actually really good.... want a bite? yea thanks! yum yum

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A- Knock knock! B- Come in! A- ...

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What is the difference between therapist and the rapist? A space.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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