A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle

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Whats worse than getting raped by jack the ripper? Getting fingered by captain hook.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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What's just not right? Left

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What's worse than bombs? Nukes

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Is your refrigerator running? yeah oh...just wondering.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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I went to school. Then I came home.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What did the caninibol do when he duped his girlfriend He wiped

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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why was 7 afraid of 6?that is impossible it is older than six and stronger than its mother

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What do you call a gay man? Homosexual

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why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

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A old man walks into a hospital He doesn't come back out

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a convicted rapist.

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A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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What does a horse and a donkey have in common? They are both very different from trees

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops