so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

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What did the Chinese man say to the Japanese man Nothing as they have never met

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

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Shltskc gw? G

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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