There was a blond girl and a brunette girl. The brunette had a pink shirt that had " Abercrombie & Fitch" on it. The blond looks at the brunette and asks, where did you get your shirt?

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

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Q; What is green and eats rocks? A; The green rock eater... Q;What happens when you through a rock straight up in the north pole? A; The green rock eater eats it..

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A preschool teacher told his class to draw a squirrel. One child proceeds to break into tears. The teacher says "what's wrong Johnny?" Johnny said "my whole family was slaughtered by a gang of squirrels!" this upset the teacher

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why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? because it was two tired

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In Soviet Russia, this joke is an anti-joke.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, Im very sorry.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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What do you call a black man at school the janitor

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If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests? Tests.

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Whats better than 7 babies tied to 1 tree 1 baby tied to 7 trees

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What is covered in red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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Neither have I, nobody knew him.

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Your mum so ugly that she isn't married

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A guy walks up to his boy and tells him, "Hey, if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind." The boy says, "Who are you? Your not my father."

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get him a ladder and help him down.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Why couldn't the teen go to the prom? He was busy working to help his mom recover from breast cancer.

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

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Why is Ellen Degeneres gay? Because she likes the same sex

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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