What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

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What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

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why did the chicken cross the road i hate it when people ask questions they already know the answer to

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what did the lamp say to the woman Nothing, a lamp is a plastic glass and metal inaminate object therfore it can not speak

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Q: what comes after 69? A: 70

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If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

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Why didn't the boy eat chocolate yesterday Because he was allergic.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

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How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

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Q: whats the difference between 3 asain people 3 black people and 3 mexican prople?? A: there all different nationality

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

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What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

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How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

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Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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