what do women and men have in common? nothing, women are inferior

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Selena Gomez, Victoria Justice, and Arianna Grande walk into a bar. They were making a movie.

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North Korea is red. Amerika is blue. But they both split blood. All over you

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Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

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whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

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how many jews fit in an oven? none, its illegal to put a person in an oven....

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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Q: whats the difference between 3 asain people 3 black people and 3 mexican prople?? A: there all different nationality

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Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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Sigh, visit me with a pack of condoms, that is so romantic... Now you tell me something, how old are you REALLY and what is your real name? Oh yeah, my first name is Tifa (I know you hate it for some reason), and I am turning 24 in 30 days.

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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what happens when a dog and a cat have sex? They create a beautiful baby that ends up dieing from cancer.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What do apples and black men both have in common? They are both people except for the apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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