What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. They had too much alcoholic substances and got alcohol poisoning. Their families mourned for days and their kids grew u without a father. The end.

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When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

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A bartender walks into a bar. About 8 hours later, he goes home.

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Boy 1: What comes after L? Boy 2: Elephant, elbow, elk, elementary, Elliot, Elder Scrolls? Boy 1: No. Boy 2: What is the answer? Boy 1: M

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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A working black man, Santa, and the Easter Bunny where walking down the street and find a penny, who picks it up? The working black man, Santa and the Easter Bunny take no payment for their work.

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People with Alzheimers will not remember this joke

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Why are black people not allowed to play football? They are.

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How do you get a bunch of baby guts out of a bathtub? A lot of tostitos.

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Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was getting chased by a pedophile

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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why did they bury bin laden at sea? because he died

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what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

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What is funnier than Miley Cirus getting a Record Album? Justin Bieber's voice.

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Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

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How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By pulling human entrails out of her purse when he asks her to provide insurance.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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