How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

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What did the female lady person say to the baby? Get Some.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. I said who's there? Knock Knock. WHO THE FUCK'S THERE, GODDAMNIT? Knock Knock. PLEASE STOP IT STOP IT OH GOD STOP IT Knock Knock SWEET DEAR JESUS GOD CHRIST STOPSTOPOHGODSTOPITNOW Knock Knock. FORGODSSAKECOMEIN. Hello, Mark. Oh, hi, Steven.

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Your mother is so fat, she tried to suicide because she was unhappy with her weight. She tried a diet and it didn't work; she suffers from depression and went to see a doctor about her weight. Life is getting worse for your mother and she is starting to develop diabetes. Your relatives and cousins are going to the hospital to visit her sometime this week; the doctor says she only has about a week left before she passes away.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a turkey? Just a sort of mixed bird thing.

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Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

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whats ironic about a white van being white the driver usualy is not

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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A guy walks into a bar. I didn't see anything else.

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The once was a man from Nantucket, Who gave up on his life and said "damn this!" Then he won lots of money, His future looked bright and sunshiny Until one day he suddenly died

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

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What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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What has four legs but can't walk? A tranquilized bear

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If you are what you eat, then imagine a prostitute.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a convicted cannibalistic rapist.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

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Roses are red violets are blue I fucked your mom now im about to fuck you to.

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Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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