A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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So the priest took the 6 year old boy into the confessional...and He told him to say 3 Hail Mary's.

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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Why didnt the man make it to work? Because he was in a fatal car accident.

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? I don't know.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

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roses are red violets are blue i take pleasure in the simple things in life as i have nothing else left to live for

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A young boy had a question and looked into the sky then his eyes got burnt from the sun and he went blind.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

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What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

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Life's like a box of chocolates it's shit if you have diabetes

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Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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