Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem about Red rosses and blue violets

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Next season on teen moms, Justin Bieber tells her story.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

chuck norris can round house kick reasonably well

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the doctor say to the obese person? You have diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats long and black? a baton

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There Not Sally Why was the boy sad? Because he dropped his ice cream cone Why'd he drop his ice cream cone? Because he got ran over by a bus Why'd he get run over by a bus? BECAUSE SALLY WAS DRIVING

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two scientists are working in a lab. The first one asks, "Do you want some sodium?" The second one pours acid into the first one's eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So there's this girl who really wanted red socks. She goes to the store, socks are $2. Well, that sucks, she thinks. I only have $1. So she goes home and asks her mom for a buck. Sure, the mom replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my vacuum cleaner. So the girl fixes the vacuum cleaner, mom giver her the buck. The girl goes to the store, but wait. Socks are $3 now. Girl goes home, asks her dad for a buck. Sure, the dad replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my car. Girl fixes car, dad gives het a buck. Girls goes to store.Well damn, the socks are $4 now. She goes home and asks her brother for a buck. Sure, her brother replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my computer. Girl fixes computer, brother giver her a buck. Girl goes to store and FINALLY buys the socks. She comes home. Mother dead. Vacuum cleaner exploded. For 1 month the girl mourns her mom. Finally she can wear her socks. Ah crap, car accident. After 1 month mourning her dad she can finally wear the socks. Well, turns out she can't. Brother dead cause of exploded computer. After yet another month of mourning, she can FINALLY wear her red socks. So she does. Suddenly the doorbell rings. The girl opens the door and there's a polar bear standing in front of her. What did the polar bear say? WELL NOTHING, BECAUSE POLAR BEARS CANNOT TALK!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why didn't the lolipop taste like anything to the boy beacuse he was aborted

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how did hitler lure the jews onto trains to concentration camps? he told them he hid a penny in one of the cars

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your momma's so fat, she's at risk of a number of cardio-vascular problems, including high blood pressure, leading to heart disease, stroke, type II diabetes, and a premature death. She also has an elevated risk of contracting cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What starts with ''F" ends in "uck" and usually means excitement? A Firetruck

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, vilotes are blue Erics a dick and Chase is too.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the boy find I'n his water? Ice

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops