What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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what happens when a dog and a cat have sex? They create a beautiful baby that ends up dieing from cancer.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Selena Gomez, Victoria Justice, and Arianna Grande walk into a bar. They were making a movie.

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whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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A tiger walks into bar. He orders a drink and leaves. The tiger's name was Tony the tiger," It was just a man wearing a costume for the cereal company.

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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what do women and men have in common? nothing, women are inferior

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Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

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what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

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Where did Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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North Korea is red. Amerika is blue. But they both split blood. All over you

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

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What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

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how many jews fit in an oven? none, its illegal to put a person in an oven....

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

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whats worse than a bee sting, two bee stings, whats worse than two bee stings, the holocaust, whats worse than the holocaust, tree bee stings...

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What did the bride do on her wedding day? Get married.

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Two men walk into a bar. You would think the second man would have seen it. Made by Bobbie Pummel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops