what do you call your mom? mom

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" A few people laugh, but the horse, incapable of speech, does not. He is unfamiliar with this location and begins to panic. In his panic his leg is broken. He is put down shorty thereafter.

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What´s Green and turns Red at your Finger Tips? Frog in a Blender.

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The other day I went to the holocaust museum and it was horrible No air conditioning or cold drinks

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How do you make a blonde fall off of a cliff? You push her off of the cliff.

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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Why was the dyslexic cowboy crying when he came into school that day? He had chronic diarrhea.

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What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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A disabled man walked into a- That can't be right

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Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

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Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

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What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

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YOU

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What is red and has no legs? Half a baby.

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9/11

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Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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A Dyslexic man went to a posh, bought a badnana, and put it no his neck, and lawked around twon.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops