A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

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What do you call an blonde, brunette, and a redhead? There has yet to be a definition for a group of people categorized by hair color.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Thank you, you remind me that I am not insane, just because I believe we humans can accomplish more, by uniting as one, rather than fighting one another. I feel as if I belong somewhere else, yet the question remains always, are people such as you better, or are we relics from the past?

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Whats round and bouncy? A bouncy ball

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill.

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Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

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How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

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Two People go To Africa They have a lovely time they come home then go to Miami Florida after Florida they decide to go to germany sadly there was a plane crash and the two men fell into a pit of acid.

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What do you do when the Cubs win the world series? Turn the xbox off and go to bed.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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roses are red violets are blue they really are

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Did you hear the one about the girl who had three nipples? Neither did I.

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A American seeking into mexico

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Why was the man alone? Because he was tied to a tree.

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What did one dandelion say to the other dandelion? Answer- Take me to your weeder!

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"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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i want to watch t.v, how do u turn it on? idk, do u know how? idk either, i cant see or hear then y do u want to watch t.v wuts a tv?

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roses are red violets are hot dog this rhyme has no sense fork

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Guy1: Hey! Do you want to hear a potassium joke? Guy2: Sure! Guy1: K

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What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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