A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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Why did stevie get stabbed in the jugular by his sister? He was telling bad anti jokes.

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

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Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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Why did the Jewish man leaves a coffee shop without leaving a tip? He was homeless and spent his last cents on the coffee.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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