A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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Q: Why doesn't Micheal Jackson have orgasms? A: Because he's dead.

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What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

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Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

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Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Whais red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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why did amelia earhart get lost? because she was a woman

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What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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Why did the white woman press charges against the black guy? Because he raped her

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why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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Why did stevie get stabbed in the jugular by his sister? He was telling bad anti jokes.

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops