How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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Knock knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said who's there? My name is Knock Knock Oh hi Knock Knock, come in

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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Q: how do you drown a blond A: put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

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BRANDON LUI ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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what did the guy say on friday ? ah man im so glad its not monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday sunday he then threw a horse at a plane while moonwalking on a star that was riding a duck that was on a rabbit. Sir jumpalot was working overtime as he had to pay for a free phone

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

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Q: Where is the One Piece? A: My girlfriend is wearing it.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm a talking horse and that's what you ask me? On the day I just buried my only son?"

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Person 1: *sneeze Person 2: bless you Person 1: I'm jewish. They never spoke again.

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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Did You Hear about the Black Guy That went to College?....Neither Did I...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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why did billy fall on the sidewalk? he got stabbed

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What's heed and has wheels? Your mom.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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yo Mama so stupid a robber stole her t.v and she ran after him yelling, YOU FORGOT THE REMOTE!

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Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

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whats your name whats the color of the sky whats the oppisite of down

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Yo mamma so poor she got a job.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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