What happens if you type "Michael Jackson" divided by "Friends" on a calculator? DIVIDE BY 0 ERROR.

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Q: Why did the man have sex with Amanda Seyfried? A: Are you kidding me?

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How do you kill Osama Bin Laden? Get The Navy Seals To Infiltrate his compound.

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why didn't the Irishman walk into the bar? Beacause he had killed himself the previous night as a result of his alcoholism.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

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Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

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What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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What did the black basketball player say to the white basketball player when he lost? Good game.

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Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

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What did the monkey say to the other monkey Monkey can't talk

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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What Did Sally Get For Christmas? A Bicycle

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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Why did Billy start a fire? Because he was cold.

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what happened to the retarded dyslexic? he retard on his 60th birthday and took up gardening.

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What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

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What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops