How do you kill Osama Bin Laden? Get The Navy Seals To Infiltrate his compound.

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Q: Why did the man have sex with Amanda Seyfried? A: Are you kidding me?

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Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it Biting into a baby and finding a worm in it

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What happens if you type "Michael Jackson" divided by "Friends" on a calculator? DIVIDE BY 0 ERROR.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

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Two muffins are in the oven, one muffin says "Gosh it's hot in here!", the other muffin says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!".

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What do you call a black person doing labor for other people? A good friend.

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Why did the deaf man ask for directions? He didn't as he knew he wouldnt have a clue what they are on about.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish.........That's a government lake. You're under arrest.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy had no hair because he had cancer and died 3 weeks later.

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Why did the Black guy work at KFC? To provide money for his struggling family.

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? I don't know really

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Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face.

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WNBA

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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If Santa's not real, then who pees on the tree every morning?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops