- Anti Joke

Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

whats green and lives in the water

How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

What do you do when you see a hot girl in your bed

My zombie busting team: Tank: The Terminator Mechanic: Tony Stark Demolitions: Superman Medic: Gandalf Bait: Justin Bieber

a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

What fires shots? A gun

What's better than a stick? A stone

Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

What's gayer than Justin Beiber? The guy getting a blowjob from him! Kelvin Yang.

What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

Why was the dog fallowing the fat guy. The fat guy said come.

What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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