What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

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Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

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What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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Whats green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A Pool Table. Use your imagination.

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Knock Knock "Who's there?" "This is Frank from Walside Windows just wondering if you wou..." (Door Slams Shut) "Damn those people are annoying"..

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Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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If two blondes had a kid it would probably be a blonde because two recessive chromosomes have a higher chance of showing than one dominant gene.

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So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

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What do you call a cat up a tree in a party hat? A cat up a tree with a party hat

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the fried chicken restaurant... BAWK BAWK cannibal

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What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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PENIS :)

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So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

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"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

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David: Hey Bill. Do you know what the most common place for a Democrat to work is? Bill: No. David: An insane Asylum, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a black person to work is? Bill: No. David: A prison, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a 20th centrury undercover German Jew to work is? Bill: No. David: A morge, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a Scientologist to work is? Bill: No. David: With Democrats. (Writen by Ben, avid Anti-Scienctologist)

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Why are black people black? They're not. They're brown you idiot.

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what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

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My mom farted, now it smells, ewe. My mom just took of her shirt, BONER! My, friends mom took off her shirt, now he has a boner. We both have boners, and it smells bad. This is weird, me and my friend are very similar, except my mom farted and his mom did not. Now I hate my mom. UN-BONER!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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