What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

What's the difference between a woman and the Universe ? One is full of mysteries mankind may never understand, the other is, well, the Universe.

Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

what is red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket Waht is blue and looks like a bucket? (99% of the time they will say "a blue bucket") No, a red bucket in disguise!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can't fly, what choice did it have? All it wanted to do was to get to the other side. That chicken knew what it wanted to do in life. What do you want to do with your life? Be chicken smart. Cross the road.

Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she was dead.

A boy walks into a bar, then walked out. He's not 21!

why did sally fall of the swing? because she had no arms... knock knock? (whos there) not sally

So, a Hispanic, Jewish, Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "Aren't you tired of this?"

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Quite obviously, still quizzical, being that tests are just longer, harder quizzes.

What did the girl with two broken legs give her parents for Christmas? Medical bills.

Asians.

The Dark knight rises................. From the place he was before he rose.

What did the dinosaur and John Wayne say to the Easter Bunny? Nothing, they're both dead and the Easter Bunny isn't real.

Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he was mentally handicaped

What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

What is green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

A Muslim gets off his plane from Saudi Arabia to New York and walks to customs where a TSA agent asks him "what is you business in America?" The Muslim responds "I am here for a vacation". He walks on, and returns home 10 days later.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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