Q. Which is longer ... a rope ?

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

How do you make a plummer sad? Kill his family.

My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

whats worse then a child with a dead mom? the baby is still inside.

Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

Why did Jessica fall off the swing? She doesn't have any arms Knock, knock Whose there? Not Jessica

What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

Why did Lisa fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms... A: Knock Knock B: Whos there? A: Definitely not Lisa....

What did the korean guy order at the deli? A sandwich

What's the difference between difference and between? One is difference the other is between.

Whats 2+2=? ?= CHICKEN

what happens when you and a 6 foot black guy get stuck on an island? hang him by a tree and make shelter

- I was at my house last night - I was at your MOM'S house last night... I'm her neighbor, she was having trouble with her plumbing and I thought i should help out

Why did the aeroplane fall out of the sky? An ant jumped on it

I like my sex how i like my steak Pink and Bloody

what did the scene kid get for christmas? a gift card which he used ironically.

What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

What happens when you roll a quarter down the street in Mexico? It rolls for a small period of time but eventually it falls over and stops rolling because quarters aren't able to roll very far on imperfect surfaces.

smell the vitamin C

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

If X = 3 and Y = 7, what is X + Y = ? It doesn't matter. You forgot to put your name on the test which means you got an automatic fail.

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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