What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? -absolut vodka Well, you have a sirious drinking problem...

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

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What do you get if you cross a river with a cat? Wet.

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What is better than tissues? Correct!

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Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

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What’s big, grey, has wrinkly skin, and a trunk? An elephant. Oh, you’ve heard this one.

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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Why did Joe not cross the road? Because the Pedestrian Crossing light said not to.

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When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

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An arab says allahu akbar, people respect him as he is pronouncing his religion in his place of worship

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Why'd the Squirrel fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead

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What did the newborn get on it's birthday? A life

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B==========D-------------------------- im pissin man! god!

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a bus and didn't know! The funeral was touching and sad. Everyone cried. 2 weeks later..........Johnson ended his own life.......

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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A man walks into a Bar, and he gets kicked out because its an animal only bar no people allowed

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Why did the Elf stab the Gnome? Because I was on a bad acid trip.

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What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I felt like kicking something.

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops