Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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What do you call a broken boomarang? A stick.

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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Easy, you get a phone with a recorder that rather than playing a "please leave a message after the tone", plays the same tune as if the phone was still not picked up. Now tell me here and now, because I wont waste more time on you, what part did you play in this? Jenny Chatterton? Another one of your pseudonyms? What the fuck did you think would happen? You live in the Uk, london, so, tell me everything, or I will share every single detail here.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Why did the black girls wear fancy clothes to the mall? Public nudity is considered a crime in many parts of the world. It would be advisable to wear clothes in public areas, so as to avoid being arrested.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

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Why do we oftenly see african cry for nothing? Because this is the only way they get water.

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Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

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pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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Michael Jackson will always be remembered for touching...the hearts of many.

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What happens if you roll a nickel down a street in Mexico? It eventually stops and lands on its side.

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What is in the center of our galaxy? Some stars, space, and nebula.

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops