When a Jew with a boner walks into a wall what hits first? It really depends weather his arm or leg is sticking out when he hits the wall. When studying trejectory sciences, you will find out that it will be nearly a 95% chance that his foot will in fact hit the wall first.

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What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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What's black and doesn't work? Half of Detroit.

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What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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A man builds a time machine but can only travel back in time. Where does he go? Irrelevant. Time and space exist on different planes.

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What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

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whats worse than a bee sting, two bee stings, whats worse than two bee stings, the holocaust, whats worse than the holocaust, tree bee stings...

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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An Irishman walked into a pub.... He never left.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

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bologna

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How does a boy with no arms or legs cross the street? He doesn't

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what do JFK, plato, and a dead penguin have in common? theyre all dead.

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ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

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You're so vein you are probably a tube that conveys blood from various parts of the body to the heart.

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

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Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

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Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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I like my women how i like my coffee. Without a penis.

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What do you say if you see a floating TV at night? Wow a floating TV. It's amazing how far technology has progressed throughout the years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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