roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Man: Why do you wear your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Woman: Oh, wow, thanks for pointing that out. Silly me.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a snake, and a lawyer? A snake cannot comprehend law, nor can one attend law school and set up an office. They are also different species.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Daniel G. Likes to perve on the boys in the locker room. Change quick guys!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats worse than seeing your family killed in front of your eyes? Not much to be honest

thumb_up thumb_down +15

3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A large commercial airliner is piloted toward inner-city New York. The plane is driven into the World Trade Center by a terrorist. The United States will now issue a holiday to mourn all we have lost in this tragic event.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q. why did the skeleton crosse the rood. A. he didin`t becas he had no guts

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Sally went to an R-Kelly concert what happend when she came out? No one because R-Kelly peed on sally and cops came in.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Where did Sarah go when the bomb exploded? A: Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happened to the homosexual jiggalo? He ended up getting aids from having anal sex with various men which is not the best idea because the anus where poop comes from.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the car drink Slurpies? I don't know. Why? Doorknob. Carl was unsure on what his friend, Frank meant when he told his joke, but then again who IS sure? Frank is the only one who truly knows what happened that day on August 13th 2010 when his mother came over for a surprise visit to her son's house just as Frank was heading out the door about to get in his truck and buy groceries, unaware that his mother was standing outside and bending over to ring the door bell not to expect Frank opening the door with his quick and violent actions thus hitting his mother in the face as the door swung open. Frank hadn't known his mother was at his house nor even remembered him but there she was, past out bleeding to death on his front lawn. It was Frank's fault that day, when his mother past away and reason why Frank hides his anger through his jokes. If only he hadn't opened that door he tells himself every night. Now he's cursed himself with his odd humour of using doorknobs as punchlines to hide his grief of his loss. And with that, Carl replies; Ummm.... I don't get it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops