Knock knock, who's there? Your mom! Oh I'm comming.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +21

One day a object is flying overhead in a city and a man in a crowd of pedestrians yells, "It's a bird!" another man yells, "It's a plane!" No one else says anything as they stare at the two men that had become so excited about a possibly seeing a bird or an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call most people over 50 who aren't married. Divorced

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road? Against city ordinates, an old woman was keeping chickens in her suburban back yard. One escaped, and there was no where else to go.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Chuck Norris threw a grendade, killed 50 people, then it exploded This is a highly improbable event considering no man is faster then a grenade

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Unless she's particularly short, then she may need to get a friend, who may or may not be blonde, to help by holding the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do airplanes and trees not have in common?? Bananas

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the monkey ride a bike? Because he was taken from his natural environment, abused for years and forced to ride a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion getting raped by 2 giant scorpions

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops