Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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What did the raisin say to the toaster? Nothing. The raisin lacks a central nervous system, and the toaster is an inanimate object.

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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person 1: Do you have a christmas necklace I could borrow for a party? person 2: I have a one with a leprechaun.

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Ok is 25 really funnier than 24 because i think 8008 or 5318008 are way funnire tahn 24 or 35 just saying

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

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What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

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Most people like to drink beer, others do not.

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I typed in in a Anti-joke and realized it was kind of hard.

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Why did the swing fall off the girl? I have dyslexia

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding the holocaust? A worm

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are flowers, And daisies are too.

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What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

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A man looks in his toilet and gazes in fear of the fact that there is blood on his bowel movement. He has colitis

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anti jokes are really funny

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

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Roses are reds violets are blue when your parents says your beautiful they're lying to you

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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So my teacher came upto me, and says "At the end of this ruler is a idiot" so I said "Which end?" I got detention.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bar was part of the fence he was enclosed by.

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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