I really want to know something would all of you like to go on Suspension for 3 weeks? Mr Goodwin

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A white man, a black man, and an Arab man are standing in a room. Who stole your wallet? No one, you suffer from ALS and therefore do not carry a wallet because you have no way in which to use it. To top it all off your medical bills are so high that your family would be financially better if you were to die and your dream of being an entrepreneur is slipping away as you realize that pitching an idea is difficult in a monotonous drone.

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Q:What is usually pink, brown or black, usually big and comes out smaller, which goes in and out of your mothers mouth? A: Could be lots of things really... Moral: But we all know what you imagined you sick bastard!

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Why did the blonde stay in the five-star hotel? She had enough money.

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Two guys were Arguing. (A & B) A. You suck B. If i suck then you choke. A. The only way id choke is if i smelled your stank ass breathe. B. The only way id have stank ass breathe is if i was liking your moms vagina A. The only way my mom's pussy would stank is if you were liking it. B. The only way id be liking your moms pussy is if it were a dick.... Both stare at each other... and walk off awkwardly

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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Josh Moran peels off his foreskin while watching gay porn.

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A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

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Lebron James got a new iPhone, but he has to keep it on vibrate because he doesn't have any rings.

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What did the dog say to the human? Nothing really. Dogs technically "speak" through barking.

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A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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Terry's penis oh wait! what penis But I'm not a rapper

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The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

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Why was the blonde sad? Her phone was broken due to an NNEMP.

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a kid says, "where are you from?" other kid says "my mom"

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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What did the one eyed boy say at the movie theater? 3D was a boy choice

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Why did the bald man die? Cancer.

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A jew goes into a church. Yolo.

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Forget about them, do not compare yourself to those beneath you, you always wanted to help as many as possible, in a world where everyone fights for themselves only.

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Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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