Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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Why did the chicken rape your...wait, that's not how it goes!

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Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a car this morning

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What was the color of the big lipped, struggling rap artist who violently raped and killed a young woman after robbing a convenience store at gunpoint? Red. He was covered in blood.

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Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

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There once was a girl who took away my source of entertainment. Her name was Nicole.

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

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A dog walks into a forest and sees a whale. The dog asks "aren't you supposed to be in the ocean?" The whale replies, "yes."

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How do you identify a Chinese tank? They smash their own people.

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what did the murderer say to the man... i'm going to kill you

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

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An older man and a young boy are holding hands and walking into the woods together. The boy looks up and say, "gee, I'm scared, it's dark in there." the old man answers, "Yeah, just think how I feel....I have to walk out of here alone!"

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How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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Why was the black man picking cotton? Because he was in an area where slavery is a socially and morally accepted practice.

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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SQUID DOMINATION!!! Squids WILL Take Over the World!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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