What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

what is the name of the book that helen keller wrote LADIUFgSLDGFhalkjgfvcgh

How come Helen Keller never played professional baseball? Because she was a woman

if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

How long does it take to acheive a superbowl win? However long it takes you.

Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was standing up.

How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

why was the boy sad? his bellybutton hurt

A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

What did one salt shaker say to the other salt shaker? Nothing, Salt shakers are merely used to add flavor to foods.

Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

What do you call a black man holding a stone with bloody hands A hard working stone mason

whats green and slimy? green slim

How did the fat guy survive the plane crash? Because he still in the food court at the airport.

two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

Roses are red. Violates' are blue. Hitler is my homy.

Why did the little girl cry? Her mom died

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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