Why did the little girl fall to death? Because pigs can't fly. It's impossible.

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So there's a black man riding a bike down the street. A police officer pulls him over to tell him that his back tire seems to be flat. The black man says thank you, and continued riding his bike. Later, he would repair his tire.

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What is life? Paul.

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When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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roses are grey violets are grey so says my color blind cousin

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What did the over confident jack-ass say to the hot girl, You'll do.

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

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What do you call a purple apple? Bruised.

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why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

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Why did Muhammad pray to Jesus? Because he has low self esteem and didn't believe in himself.

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Knock knock Who's there Fookie Fookie Who? Fook you too

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What's worse than a black guy? Two black guys....and a dead white man.

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

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Q: why did the boy fall down when he was walking home? A: he was murdered.

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You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

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Why did the asian man go to the bar with a black man? Because they both wanted to enjoy a few beers in the company of another.

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I haven't read and I don't agree to the Terms of Service

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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