Ps: Its "Cain" again, just for matters of security here, how did he install power wires under the basement? How are you even able to use your computer over there?

thumb_up thumb_down -58

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -58

This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

thumb_up thumb_down -60

What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

What is blue and roles about on the floor A baby playing with a plastic sack

thumb_up thumb_down -70

whats worse than someone on the phone during a movie? your mother queefing on your bowl of cheerios

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Who is Jonathan Ezell He is Jonathan Ezell

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Q: How do you confuse a blonde. A: Put her in a circular room and tell her to pee in the corner. Q: How does a blonde confuse you? A: She says she's done.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

I saw a sign saying Falling Rocks. But no, no it doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the white woman press charges against the black guy? Because he raped her

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call a seagull that flew into the bay? Wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A woman stopped making sandwiches.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down +39

As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A paper cut is a tree's last revenge.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops