Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My family is dead

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Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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Q: what happens when Justin Bieber walks into bar? A: three things, blood on the bar floor, another vister at the celebrity hospital, and Justin Bieber with knifes and darts stuck in his chest!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What did the flight attendant get for Christmas? A Trebuchet from medieval times dating back to the 12th Century CE.

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Did you hear the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless

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what is the difference between me and a grown black man.... i went to school

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A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi walk into a bar. All three are alcoholics and have done irreparable damage to their livers.

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your goin down...aint no tomorrow...wha bang bang

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Once i was walking down the street when i saw a homeless man As i leant to give him money he jumped up and stabbed me. Now i don't approach drunk strangers with hangovers

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How do you fit 10,000,000 jews inside a car? It's not physically possible as no car can carry that many people.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Why? Because his house was burning down on the other side

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What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

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I have your mom in bed just kidding, i killed her Then barried her

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what do u say to a girl after you have sex with her? i like cheese

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. It is a coincidence that none of them have the same hair colour.

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Why did the college student post unfunny anti-jokes on anti-joke.com? Because he was bored shitless.

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Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

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What's more annoying than a mosquito? the Sandy Hook Massacre

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what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

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What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

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Man: Knock knock Man 2: who's there Alzheimer's patient: to get to the other side!

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Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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