To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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Jamie Oliver eats a chip

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Whats black, white, and Asian all at the same time? A panda

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? To get to the other side!

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Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

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a man walks into a library Who the hell reads

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Why didn't the guy have kids? He didn't want them

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Joe:Hi Steve how was your day? Steve:Fine why do you ask? Joe:Because I am gay. Steve:Well if you are so happy tell your sister.

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Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

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guy walks into a bar, ouch

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo Don't worry I'll be there too! Not in the cage But laughing at you! ??

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What's the difference between tires and a black guy? Tires don't scream once there are chains around them. ;)

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, you are a liar, oh wait you're not!! MY BACKYARD'S ON FIRE

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What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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yolo your orange looks orange

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What is white and long? A New York winter

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

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why couldnt hellen keller drive a car? because she was a woman

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ no I know my ABC etc:

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roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops