how do you make a homosexual man have sex with a woman? shit in her vagina

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A: Knock Knock! B: RING THE DOORBELL YA DUMMY

thumb_up thumb_down -12

roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the blind man fail his math test? Because he had been raped and murdered. Going blind is a side effect of death.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

FRED CLEAN YOUR ROOM! Ok mom, I'm done "Nothing is cleaned" Well.. I tried

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Person 1: Why don't you want to date me? Person 2: Because you are ugly Person 1: Why am I ugly? Person 2: Because you have bad features. Person 1: Why do i have bad features? Person 2: It's your genetics. Person 1: Why is it my genetics Person 2: Cuz that's the way god made you Person 1: Why? Person 2: Because god's god made you Person 1: Why Person 2: Because the god of god of god made you Person 1: Why? Person 2: That's the way the god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of (GOES ON FOREVER!!!) made you.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Finding an apple in your worm !!! ... Wait, what ?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why didn't susie use the jump rope She had no arms, replied carl No, susie doesn't like using jump ropes replies the mother

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you confuse a blonde? The same way you confuse a brunette or redhead, hair color has nothing to do with an individual's intelligence.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you get a one armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is black white and red all over A tree in black, white, and red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what's white, got three legs and you wouldn't expect to find in the rainforest? A fridge on a stool

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Will you please answer one question for me? "Yes" Thank you. -walk away-

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A black man shoots someone. He was a cop and he killed a dangerous man who attacked him.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops