How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why are black people not allowed to play football? They are.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two black guys walk into a bar. They had too much alcoholic substances and got alcohol poisoning. Their families mourned for days and their kids grew u without a father. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is long hard and woody? A tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you get a bunch of baby guts out of a bathtub? A lot of tostitos.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was getting chased by a pedophile

thumb_up thumb_down -1

there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A bartender walks into a bar. About 8 hours later, he goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

People with Alzheimers will not remember this joke

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what is like a duck and quacks ? A duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A working black man, Santa, and the Easter Bunny where walking down the street and find a penny, who picks it up? The working black man, Santa and the Easter Bunny take no payment for their work.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did hitler do with the vegetarians? Nothing, because he was one.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did they bury bin laden at sea? because he died

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops