What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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What's worse than getting AIDS? shaking hands with a liberian doctor. Knock Knock Who's there? Ebola

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Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

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Q: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair A: Handicapped.

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So a guy is on his way to work and he nearly gets hit by a bus. He sticks his middle finger up at the bus driver but a couple seconds later he realized that it was the same bus he was supposed to get on so he apologized to the bus driver and got on the bus. He was 15 minutes late for the 420th time this week so he was fired from his job and went back home. On his way home he was not allowed on the bus because he left his oyster card somewhere so he had to walk home. 69 minutes later he arrives home to his wife and kids. What did the man say to his wife when he got back home? "Hi."

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Why did Susie fall off the monkey bars? She had no arms.

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There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

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Women's Soccer.

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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Why was billy sad because in the morning he witnessed his mom get stabbed in the throat repeatedly by a clown then he saw the clown in the cop car but his mask was off and it turned out to be billys dad

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

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how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

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A man with his masters degree, has a great job, and gets good money. Has a wife and kids. He is very successful.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get to the hospital before he lost to much blood from his stab wound.

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What's the different between a white guy and a black guy? The white guy makes his money, and the black guy steels the white guys money.

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You know what's funny? Rape

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Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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If life gives you lemons, you are probably suffering from hallucinations.

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A gay man watches football.

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What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

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How do you drown a fish? You don't...

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Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

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Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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