- Anti Joke

How did young Austin get home while walking on the side of the street ? He didnt. He was hit by a car.

Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

Knock knock. Who's there? There's no need to ask this question due to the fact that most homes are built with peepholes nowadays.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

You know what's wrong with Oprah? Generally nothing. She's a well-respected African American woman who happens to be quite wealthy and likes to share her wealth with other people.

Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

Roses are gray Violets are black Don't judge me I'm color blind>.>

What's 9 + 10 19 AB

A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

How did young Austin get home while walking on the side of the street ? He didnt. He was hit by a car.

Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

why did they bury bin laden at sea? because he died

What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

Wanna hear a joke? Women Voteing. -Austin Conradt

Why didn't the boy eat his soup? It was to hot.

What's worse than blowing out 1 lightbulb Blowing out 2 lightbulbs

Sex

Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

why did john wear a red hat? because blue is his favorite color