What did the man say before he got stabbed? What are you going to do, stab me?

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A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

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Yo mama so fat she runs the risk of stroke, heart disease, or diabetes

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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where did you get those clothes? at the toilet store.

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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Connor is such a dope, he doesn't even know Betty White jokes aren't funny.

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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How do you piss off a moose? You throw popcorn at it

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A baby seal walks into a bar... The bartender looks at it and says: too young.

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"My, what big teeth you have!" exclaimed Little Red Riding Hood. "Because I'm a wolf," explained the wolf. "And I dress in women's clothing because it makes me happier."

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

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a guy walked into a bar, ordered a drink, sipped it slowly thinking of his waisted youth. then he finished his drink and went home to his wife of 34 years

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Women's Rights Movement

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Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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