A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Yo momma's so fat she weighs more than the average woman of her age and height

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How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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I touch my sons dick XoXo Wendy.

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Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

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Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

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Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

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Did you hear the one about the nascar driver who couldn't pass his road test? No. It's true, he couldn't pass his road test.

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Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

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Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

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What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

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What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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nothing drews nose is f**ing hilarious

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Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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