Why is Michael Jackson bad at checkers? Cause he's dead.

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

What's the difference between a ferrari and pile of dead babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

why did javonne choose club getaway madonna wanted to foster

A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

I got into an argument with my friend the other day. He contested that the onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I beat his wife to death with a coconut,

Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

Why isn't this joke funny? Because it has no point.

-Knock Knock? -Who's There? -David Baxter. -David Baxter Who? -Wha- What? What do you mean "David Baxter who?" We were best friends in high school. YOU WERE THE BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING!! *David Baxter proceeds to cry, as he doesn't know of his dear friend's Alzheimer's disease*

A white guy jumps over the fence belonging to a Mexican family

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q2: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2: It was nailed to the first one. Q3: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3: Peer pressure.

What did the cannibal say after he ate the clown? I am not sure as the tragic situation occurred while the clown was hiking alone.

Knock knock whos there? Jake jake who? jake from state farm, and i'd like to tell you about our insurance company

Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

What did red say to yellow? Move over orange is coming now.

how did hitler lure the jews onto trains to concentration camps? he told them he hid a penny in one of the cars

why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

What's worse then biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your apple and finding two worms.

Calling your penis a chose because it's small and fat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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