When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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Roses are red. Violets are beer. Kay eckelkamp is in charge here.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

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A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What will it be?" The homeless man says, "Nothing. I have no money."

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Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

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Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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What's the cure of cancer? Death.

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what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

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why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

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I'm a poet and I didn't even realize I was one

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whats the difference between slade , and wizard? wham

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot

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How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

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Your mothers so dumb that when she had to take a math test, she received a significantly lower grade than the rest of her classmates.

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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once you go Persian, there is no other alternative

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How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

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What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops