How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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Q. Whats Red and yellow and has braces? A.Pierre-Louis

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

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why did the turtle beat the rabbit ? because the rabbit eventually got shot

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Why could'nt Ray Charles read: He was black

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Ben: do you want to hear a joke. jack: yh go on then, i bet its funny. Ben: Your future.

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What's big and black? An ant i lied about in being big

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You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese.

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Q: What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

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what's worse than finding a truck full of dead babys taking them out with a pitchfork

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What did the blind, deaf and mute kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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your momma's so stupid, she starved to death in a supermarket i probably would too...considering all the good shit needs to be cooked

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Why did the little girl's pet bunny pass away? Because her neighbor ripped out it's vitals.

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A blonde a red head and burrnett was on a island, heres there diolouge. Red:lets have a breast stroke race. bothe burnett and blonde:ok. The red head gets to the next island 1st and waits 2hrs,then the burnett comes up. Red:what took u so long? Burnett:i got hit by some waves.. they both wait weeks and weeks. the blonde comes . red and burnett: what took u long? Blonde:umm.... YOU GUYS CHEATED!! YOU USED UR HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Set up Punch line.

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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i know leaves are green because of chlorophyll but i don't know how to get a mortgage this is the kind if shit your parents pay for

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What is the best way to deal with a broken ankle? Ear Lobes.

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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The Grinch stole Christmas, he accidentally dropped it and Christmas was ruined for everyone life sucked -shane,Adam,David and Riley go cry about it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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