Why is the white man sad? Because he watched the titanic

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Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

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What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Who hangs out with a girl all day every day while he's dating her for 4 months and still doesn't get his wiener touched. Adam claypool

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Why was the ginger crying? Because they used him as the fire hydrant.

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What have you got there? Hitler's gas bill... Oh.. don't show him that, he'll be furious Whys that? He can't read.

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Q: What is the answer to 255 x 23? A: A number!

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Why the girl have a crooked leg? Her grandma thought that she was a pretzel and while the girl was sleeping the grandma tried to bend the girls leg into a pretzel shape

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

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What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

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If life hands you lemons you're probably a hippy because you know someone named 'life'

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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What did Ed Gein get at McDonalds? The corpse of a worker he killed by the dumpster and hauled back to his shack to hang up and gut like a deer.

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Q: What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? A: Getting your face smashed with a hammer.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

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How many chickens does it take to cross the road? It only takes 1 chicken to cross the road. You don't need a lot.

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ... it wanted to cross the road.

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If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

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What do you call a cat up a tree in a party hat? A cat up a tree with a party hat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops