How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

What do you call a cat up a tree in a party hat? A cat up a tree with a party hat

A man crossed the road. A chicken stood in a doorway smoking a cigarette wondering why whenever he crosses the street his motives are always questioned yet men and other animals are allowed to go about their day normally. END CHICKEN DISCRIMINATION NOW!

Your momma is such a slut, that she has unprotected sexual intercouse several times throughout any given day, with many different men.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

http://www.booksie.com/declan_mckimm

Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

Autism... is not funny at all, it is a serious issue in today's day and age and must be addressed and cured

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke-'er-face

Q. What is worse than a worm in your apple? A. Hitler

Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

Knock Knock Jehovah's witnesses!

What fires shots? A gun

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

Yo mama so old when I slapped her on the back her tits fell off.

What do you call a rich black person? A: Oprah

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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