whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? - The boy scout comes home from camp.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

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What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

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Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

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a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live on at the bottom.

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Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

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Why did peter shake the baby? To kill it and rape its dead corpse

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knock knock whos there? steve oh hi steve please come in

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I played the spoon game. In a white neighborhood.

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why did the irishman need plastic surgery? because after the bear attack where there used to be a face there is now a gap

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Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: A bush, have you ever been dragged through one? It hurts.

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Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? They're both purple expect the rabbit

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What kind of coffee did they drink on the Titanic? They didn't. They all died.

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what did the bartender say to the customer? a. is it the first option b. is it the second option c. is it the third option.

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

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What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

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Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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